Letter validating marriage
Even if my partner and I live together now, it still fills me with joy when I wake up to find a surprise love letter on my bedside table. However, if you want to use your writing to powerfully address the root of your problems and create authentic relationship healing, then the next section is for you..By pairing up strangers and making them ask increasingly personal questions to each other, the scientists proved that “escalating, reciprocal, personalistic self-disclosure” has the power to make people experience a greater degree of closeness.But how much closer does that really bring us to our loved ones?Does that count as ‘loving, consistent maintenance’? The good news is, I have been extensively testing a few writing practices which, if applied correctly and continuously, can help you: Although this might seem impossible — and even ridiculous — in a world where texting and constant updating are an inevitable part of our relationships, I believe this way of communicating was the reason why we stayed together (and remain together, more than 4 years later).
In other words, we say nice things without knowing how to communicate; we buy our children gifts as compensation for our lack of attention; we invest on “quick fixes” and make empty commitments, not realizing that the key to successful relationships lies in loving, consistent maintenance. Sometimes it’s because we want to avoid facing and expressing our challenging emotions (who likes to make time to discuss the root of their biggest fears? Another reason is that doing maintenance takes time (and let’s be honest — we’re all busy).
Most of us are deeply conditioned to always take other people’s words personally, but the key is to understand that we all feel vulnerable and hurt sometimes, and we say things we don’t really mean.
Therefore, I applied a written version of empathic listening, by trying to guess the real feelings and needs behind my friend’s words.
During our long distance relationship, my partner and I refrained from communicating with each other through texting, and instead sent each other a long email every second or third day.
The benefits were immense: There is something special in crafting a long letter to someone you love.