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Probably not even two percent of the population, but in general I’ve gotta say they have amazingly low sex drive, little experience in bed, and that the most exciting thing you’re likely to hear is, “” With all that, it’s surprising how many foreign guys end up with rather homely Japanese ladies. Well, if you spend enough time fishing, you’re bound to hook a boot or an old tire eventually.

Granted, there are a few good-looking foreign dudes with pretty Japanese girls, but overall, attractive, successful foreign men do far better in their home countries. But in the West, if you’re a handsome, well-spoken guy with a good career, you can date sexy, generative, and highly successful women.

Which is a shame, because I was kind of into that whole witch thing.

We paid the money for a room with lots of mirrors, went in, started making out on the bed, and then just as we were about to, as they say, consummate matters, she looked up at me and asked, I was like, What the hell? And you know I’m not trying to lead anybody on, but for Christ’s sake. Okay, so I haven’t dated that many Japanese women, statistically speaking.

This seems to elicit very different results than speaking in English. Because actually no matter what you say or do, a certain number of them will pretend to like you. Western women will generally let you know up front that they’re not interested in you, while Japanese women will act cute and ooh-and-ahh over you while secretly thinking you’re an idiot. As a man, you’re setting yourself up to be the breadwinner in a society where you’re a perpetual outsider with minimal advancement opportunities.

What I see often seems unlike the Japan depicted in books and on the net, and sometimes I wonder, What country are these people talking about? Like so many interactions in Japan, things often start off promising, only to become vastly more complicated before hot dog hits bun, so to speak. What woman would settle for an illiterate man with no money and little social standing? If you get married, or have kids, you can pretty much kiss your ass goodbye.

Foreigners occupy a space similar to that of gays in America: a group viewed as not really “normal,” with values and behaviors outside of the mainstream, but also thought of as flamboyant and entertaining.

Everybody loves them when they’re up on stage or out on parade.

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