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You might benefit from going to counselling especially if you feel traumatised and need to the help of an impartial listener to process some of the feelings.

To move forward, it is important that you continue to talk to your husband and try to understand the extent of his difficulties and what the underlying issues are for him.

I still feel really unhappy about what he has done.

Up until this, I thought things were okay in our marriage, though of course we haven’t had much couple time with the demands of four children but this discovery has come as a bolt out of the blue.

It wouldn’t have been as bad if he was just accessing porn, as I know men do this, but the fact that he was talking to other people has really disgusted me.

I feel a bit betrayed and worry about whether I can trust him.

made a surprise move last week and shut down its user-created chatrooms.

the company made the move when it was discovered that the online forums were being used by sexual predators to prey on underaged children.

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There is a big difference between a person occasionally viewing pornography with the knowledge and even involvement of their partner to a full-blown betrayal and using adult websites to start affairs with other people.When this happens frequently, it can lead to a reduction in their sex-life together, a growing sense of disconnection and an erosion of the marital bond.Improving the marriage The discovery of your husband’s online world is a crisis in your marriage but it can also represent an opportunity.For example you can prioritise a daily talking time with your husband when you share how each of you are doing.This should be time you have alone perhaps when the children are in bed and to make sure it is distraction free (with the computer and TV turned off).

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