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Where conventional dating is more like a water balloon fight, online dating is like storming the beaches at Normandy. Here’s some simple advice on filling out a dating profile on OKCupid. No one wants to hunt through your profile to find out they’re your sibling/cousin/goddaughter/best friend. Again, we don’t want to dig around to find out they’re your nephew/cousin/godson/best friend. No one cares about your scenic vacation photos, not even if you consider yourself a “photographer”.

DO NOT use a picture of just you and someone of the opposite sex. If you’re really good at taking up space on the couch and burning through Lifetime movies, then I can tell you why you’re single. Have you never been given a compliment in your life?

We don’t care about your car or truck or motorcycle or funny meme. BARE MINIMUM: one picture where we can see your face. If you’re too embarrassed to post picture of yourself then you need to wake up to the fact it’s 2018 and everyone is online dating. Get over yourself and thinking you’re too good for this. For the love of God, add information about yourself.

By the same token, don’t post five pictures of the exact same close up of your face. A profile that only lists your age range interest as 18–100 yo is creepy, not inviting. This will get you farther than anything on this list. You’re figuring out what you want to do and where your passions lie.

Yes, you heard me — I craft other people’s online dating pages for Tinder, Ok Cupid, Our Time, you name it.

If you’re looking for something that fast there are some hookers on Santa Monica Blvd. DO NOT start out with “I never know what to write here”, or “I don’t know what to say about myself”. If you don’t know anything about yourself or what you’re like, I can tell you why you’re single.

To give you a better overall experience, we want to provide relevant ads that are more useful to you.

For example, when you search for a film, we use your search information and location to show the most relevant cinemas near you.

If you don’t have one, then that solves the mystery as to why you’re single. That’s what those questions are doing — asking you. Are you working that 9–5 office job and writing your Stand By Me fan fiction screenplay at night?

You know how annoying it is to fill out a job application and list all the info you have in the resume you brought? Let your profile be your resume, not your job application. The question is obviously asking what you do for a living and what your big goals in life are.

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