Dating beneath you
There’s no bigger turn off for me than someone looking for a free ride (pardon the pun).
Historically, the gentleman has been responsible for covering the expenses. I’m a huge fan of investing in myself, but I’m also frugal when it comes to courting. You can’t throw all of your goals out the window because your current partner has different views.
I used to but then I realized I was ending relationships that I was really happy with just because I thought that there could be someone better out there.
I try to not think about leagues anymore and just focus on whether I'm happy or not with the person I'm seeing. There've been one or two, invariably because I was sad, lonely and/or suffering from self-esteem issues.
However, after a few dates, guys get tired of always paying. Money determines what you do for fun, what you eat, where you live, and how you live. I don’t mind a weekend getaway, a hotel room for the night, or a fancy dinner once in a while. I would much rather train or invest money into my business. You have to remember that it’s your journey and your journey alone. Romantic partners will enter, stick around, and then turn into complete strangers. At the end of the day, you have to do what’s best for you. For example, I have a friend who disappears whenever he finds a new girlfriend. He stops working out, doesn’t respond to his buddies, and spends all of his money on her. I’m here to remind you that it’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes. Money is very important when it comes to your relationships. You can ignore it at first, but the topic of money will always creep up into conversation.
I personally appreciate it when the lady at least as the guy. If the female doesn’t offer to at least buy a round of drinks by the fifth date, then you might want to watch out, because she clearly is expecting you to pay for in the long run. These are all sensitive topics when it comes to first date conversations. Most of us don’t have six months into the future and a college fund for the kids. Some guys don’t mind spending their paychecks on dating. I like to pay for dates, but I’m not a sponsor who’s looking to buy gifts and be on the hook for every single expense. Money is the deciding factor in every decision that you make as a couple. I don’t want to spend every single penny on dates and spoiling my girlfriend. Check out this Love and Money episode of #Talking Taboo to hear more perspectives on money and dating…
Typically it ends up on them making some seriously life threatening decisions because they won't listen - like walking off with strangers in a foreign airport because "he was in a uniform" - and then I have to rethink if this is the type of woman I want raising my future kids, and then move on.
I don't think this, but my girlfriend certainly does every now and then.
And I have both of those already so she better contribute something else.
Whether or not you should date a former cheater is a complicated question that depends on lots of factors: how long ago the person cheated, what the circumstances were, exactly how you define cheating, and so on.
Writing that out makes me feel like a total bitch though.
I could not give two shits about being more attractive than he is. I have an equal trajectory as he does but he's 10 years older than me so he is further along in his success.