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It’s also one I’ve hesitated to write about, partly because I didn’t know what to think about it myself.
You see, I’ve been seeing more articles with clickbait titles such as “The Alt-Right’s Asian Fetish,” “I’m an Asian Woman Engaged to a White Man and, Honestly, I’m Struggling With That,” and “I Broke Up With Her Because She’s White.” According to the first two authors, the prevalent trend of Asian women dating and marrying white men is problematic because it harkens to a long history of white supremacism.
The way they said it—always with a disgusted scowl—seemed to suggest anyone who dates too many Asians is creepy and abnormal, akin to perverts who watch kinky dwarf porn in a dank basement.
When that’s your introduction to your own community’s feelings about non-Asian males pursuing Asian females, it leaves a negative impression that’s hard to scrub off. I remember a Korean American friend asking me one day, “Do you think I’m a self-hating Korean? ” She hesitated, then replied, “I’ve never really dated Asian men.
The third article was written by a Latino man who felt pressured by today’s “woke” society to stop dating white women.
The basic idea is that “racial dating preferences” is just a code word for racial stereotypes and prejudices, such as the degradation of black women, the criminalization of black and Latino men, and the feminization of Asian men in Hollywood and the media, trends that sociologists trace back to colonialism.
Have we really come down to this—marking racial check boxes in our romantic pursuits?These are confusing times when it comes to racial issues, and I’d like to address one subtopic that’s gained attention: interracial couples—or more specifically, the increasingly criticized trend of Asian women dating white men.It’s a divisive issue fraught with emotion and misunderstanding, and weighed down with historical, cultural, and social baggage.I think it’s good to be self-aware and educated on such matters … Recently, a friend sent me an podcast episode in which an Asian American woman interviews another Asian American woman who mostly dates white men.When Asian men harassed her online for her “racist” dating habits, she felt badly about herself, so she decided to stop dating white men and intentionally date non-white men.